All About Insanity, Stupidity and Tequilla

Mittwoch, Dezember 29, 2004

Last of 2004 - My Lost and Found

In 2 days all this will be over and we’ll all start a new year. I’m just going to try and reminisce some of the events of my life that took place in 2004.

2004 has cost me lots of tears with little comfort of laughter. It has caused me deep aggression and tensely troubled mind. I found lots of things and lost much more. I learned to grow up and (really) stand on my own two feet with lots of thick-skinned courage that I didn’t even know I had.

Events took place, events that made me grow bitter and changed my point of view of people. I never thought that people could be really emotionless and heartless altogether. I always thought that these qualities of a person only existed in animated films, portrayed into the evil character. Maybe I have watched too much of those films.

I thought if I couldn’t change them, then I’ll change myself. So change I did. I tried to avoid staying too long around them and their environment, naively thinking I’d get away from all the winds of rumors. Naturally, I was wrong. They practically stopped at nothing to stress me out and to abuse my emotion and my mind with their constant yapping of ill-spoken facts that aren’t even close to the truth. In the end, I lost my respect toward them and my sincerity. Without knowing it, I became the same two-faced and backstabbing person I always detest. With the Lord’s help, I will change these newly attained qualities as soon as possible. I don’t want to wait for the year to end. It’s too long.

I thought I found a friend, who finally truly understood me, whom I could talk to, and who’ll simply be there in my times of need. Destiny wanted different. Time separated us. I lost my friend to royalty and riches and I lost my confidence to confide in other people as well as my source of good laughter.

I thought I found someone who’ll be by my side for the rest of my life. If that was too long, then at least for some time enough to pervade me with joy and warmth and fullness that I need to live my life. As quick as it came, the light I saw became darkness again. And I was once again left cold with nothing but bitterness and hardened heart. I lost my chance of being happy and naturally I lost my heart, together with my will to live and at that time, I (temporarily) lost my health.

After all this, I’m just thankful that I haven’t lost my mind. I wouldn’t know what would happen to me if I lost my sanity, the only thing that has kept me alive up to now. Now, I’m willing to put all this behind me and close the chapter of 2004 and start anew. 2005 might be better and I might find just what I was looking for without having to lose or sacrifice more.

-rv

posted by Apink a.k.a. Bubbzy at 3:18:14 PM |


Dienstag, Dezember 28, 2004

The Innocent Sleep

Sleep, that knits up the ravell'd selave of care,
The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath,
Balm of hurt minds, great Nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feat

-Machbeth, Act II, Scene 2, Ln 35-39-

-rv

posted by Apink a.k.a. Bubbzy at 2:18:18 PM |


Dienstag, Dezember 21, 2004

Interested ?

I did some reading (something I haven't done for ages - I usually devour at least 3 books a month!!) and finished it yesterday. It's a witty and humorous book called Mafia Chic. It's about Teddi Marcello Gallo, a Mafia princess who's everything but a mob. As the only granddaughter of one of the most reputable and respectable Mafia Dons in New York, her family is somewhat over-protective when it comes to Teddi and she has just about enough of that. But I'm not going to do a review on the book. If this kind of story teases you, then you should go ahead and buy it.

There's one particular word that's often mentioned in the book, and pretty much the essential ingredient of the book: "thunderbolt". I don't know if it's true, but in the book it is said that the Italians believe that you can be struck by a thunderbolt in love. You can fall in love with someone you've known for a long time, or you can fall in love with someone you barely know, or you can just simply be struck by a thunderbolt - you set your eyes on someone, and that's it: you know he's or she's the one.

It sounds like love at first sight (which I don't really believe), but it's not exactly it, is it? I mean someone can be your thunderbolt, but it doesn't necessarily mean that you've fallen head over heels in love with him/her. You can still go out with someone else, but you just know that you're destined with ur thunderbolt.

It doesn't make sense, but love never does, does it?

So, do you want to be struck by a thunderbolt?

-rv

posted by Apink a.k.a. Bubbzy at 2:36:49 PM |


Mittwoch, Dezember 15, 2004

B A H ! ! !

I'm tired of having the same thing on my mind, day in day out
I'm tired of waking up with you on my mind
And I'm tired of going to bed with you on my mind
Please, get out of there
Give me a break and let me go on with my life...

-rv

posted by Apink a.k.a. Bubbzy at 11:58:29 AM |


Last Month Depression

The last month of 2004.
And suddenly I feel so bored and exhausted.
Far away from fun.
Not even close.
It's like missing a part of your life.
The pleasure part.

from richoz, i took it cuz i feel the same way...

-rv

posted by Apink a.k.a. Bubbzy at 11:58:09 AM |


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