All About Insanity, Stupidity and Tequilla
Mittwoch, Dezember 29, 2004
Last of 2004 - My Lost and Found
In 2 days all this will be over and we’ll all start a new year. I’m just going to try and reminisce some of the events of my life that took place in 2004.
2004 has cost me lots of tears with little comfort of laughter. It has caused me deep aggression and tensely troubled mind. I found lots of things and lost much more. I learned to grow up and (really) stand on my own two feet with lots of thick-skinned courage that I didn’t even know I had.
Events took place, events that made me grow bitter and changed my point of view of people. I never thought that people could be really emotionless and heartless altogether. I always thought that these qualities of a person only existed in animated films, portrayed into the evil character. Maybe I have watched too much of those films.
I thought if I couldn’t change them, then I’ll change myself. So change I did. I tried to avoid staying too long around them and their environment, naively thinking I’d get away from all the winds of rumors. Naturally, I was wrong. They practically stopped at nothing to stress me out and to abuse my emotion and my mind with their constant yapping of ill-spoken facts that aren’t even close to the truth. In the end, I lost my respect toward them and my sincerity. Without knowing it, I became the same two-faced and backstabbing person I always detest. With the Lord’s help, I will change these newly attained qualities as soon as possible. I don’t want to wait for the year to end. It’s too long.
I thought I found a friend, who finally truly understood me, whom I could talk to, and who’ll simply be there in my times of need. Destiny wanted different. Time separated us. I lost my friend to royalty and riches and I lost my confidence to confide in other people as well as my source of good laughter.
I thought I found someone who’ll be by my side for the rest of my life. If that was too long, then at least for some time enough to pervade me with joy and warmth and fullness that I need to live my life. As quick as it came, the light I saw became darkness again. And I was once again left cold with nothing but bitterness and hardened heart. I lost my chance of being happy and naturally I lost my heart, together with my will to live and at that time, I (temporarily) lost my health.
After all this, I’m just thankful that I haven’t lost my mind. I wouldn’t know what would happen to me if I lost my sanity, the only thing that has kept me alive up to now. Now, I’m willing to put all this behind me and close the chapter of 2004 and start anew. 2005 might be better and I might find just what I was looking for without having to lose or sacrifice more.
-rv
posted by Apink a.k.a. Bubbzy
at 3:18:14 PM |
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